"Thick Skin"

I sit next to a fellow student in class today. We found out through our clinical instructor that my student's patient at the rehab facility (nursing home) has gone to the hospital, apparently not doing too well. Tears well up in her eyes. She turns to me and says "I thought about Mr. G all weekend, too." I feel for her. But, I also say, "Girl, you gotta get some skin." She agrees. She's a sensitive girl, and I am both proud for her and worried, too. It is a wonderful thing when (and if) we develop the ability to let the feelings in but balance it out with protection of the psyche.

I think this is part of the reason nursing was a "calling" for so many early years. We sacrifice so much to be able to help others. If you are good, you open your heart, and any time you do you potentially take an emotional hit. Reciprocity is not in the vocabulary. You do not expect the patient to be able to give back to you. It is a one-way street, I think. It is something you accept when you sign up to become a nurse.

Each time you cope a little, cry a little, you develop a little more skin. If it is done right, the skin doesn't stop the emotion. It's only a buffer zone. This is one of my pet peaves and parallels into the bowling world: Those who ask me how to handle pressure..."How do I tune everything out." I tell them I don't. Period. It is not about tuning out, it is about tuning in, and doing it enough times you understand how you and you alone handle things. This is what makes you stronger. (my little thanks here goes to my husband for showing me the way on this one years ago after one horrible, 'deer in headlights' TV appearance.)